The Two Auction Sales - Auctioneer Poetry

The Two Auction Sales

(Published in the National Auctioneer Magazine
September 1, 1904)

Two brothers had been farming, and had cattle, sheep and mules,
Horses and farming implements, furniture and tools,
But as their notions differed, to avoid a serious clash,
They agreed to have and Auction sale, and then divide the cash.

"We'll get one dollars worth of bills," John unto Jake did say
"And Caleb Swipe will make the sale for five dollars a day."
"Oh, no," said Jacob, "not for me, we'll get old Col. Greer,
He charges more, but is, you know, a first-class Auctioneer."

And thus these brothers did dispute, and argue loud and long,
Each one a trying to make out, the other in the wrong,
But finally concluding all arguments would fail,
They the property divided, and each one had a sale.

John had the choice of the two lots, and an Auction sale was made,
With Caleb Swipe as Auctioneer, who was five dollars paid,
And fifteen hundred was the sum, it netted clean and clear,
And John was very highly pleased, with his Cheap Auctioneer.

Then Jake sent out one thousand bills, to people far and near,
And published in the papers 'twould be sold by Col. Greer,
Who made Jake's sale, and now take note of statement here that follows,
He got for Jacob's portion, just twenty-five hundred dollars.

And then John went and kicked himself, and called himself a "jay,"
To hire a "Cheap John" Auctioneer, for five dollars a day.
To save some forty dollars, he one thousand dollars lost,
So always get a first-class man, without regard to cost.

Liz Taylor’s Jewels, Steve Jobs’ Apple Contract Auctioned

Pascal Guyot/AFP/Getty

Images

Elizabeth Taylor’s jewels fetched a record $115 million at a recent auction, while the contract signed by cofounders Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne that established Apple as a company has sold for $1.35million.
The contract sold for over ten times the pre-sale estimate at Sotheby’s. Eduardo Cisneros, chief executive officer of Cisneros Corporation bought the contract, along with a document that removed Wayne from the company after just 11 days. Both had only been expected to fetch up to $150,000 at Sotheby’s auction of books and manuscripts in New York.
At Christie’s in New York, the sale of Taylor’s jewels shattered most estimates and set new records. The 33.19-carat Taj Mahal Diamond given to the late actress by former husband Richard Burton fetched over $8.8 million at the auction Tuesday.
At the same auction, a 50.6-carat pearl necklace also given to Taylor by Burton sold for a record $11.8 million. A diamond bracelet that Michael Jackson gave Taylor raised over $194,000.
Christie’s will put additional Taylor items on the block in the coming days. Taylor died in March at age 79.
Taylor’s son Chris Wilding praised the auction in statement issued through his publicist. ”We are extremely gratified by the spectacular results of the jewelry sale last night at Christie’s,” he said. “My mother was an admirer and collector of extraordinary things. The outcome of the sale is a testament to her connoisseurship as well as to the remarkable talents of the team at Christie’s. We are deeply moved by the incredible response to her collection. She would be happy to know that her wish for her jewelry to be owned and enjoyed by others was fulfilled.”
Still to come: a Los Angeles auction house is putting up Orson Welles’ Oscar for co-writing “Citizen Kane,” considered by many to be the greatest film ever produced in Hollywood. The 1942 Academy Award is expected to fetch between $600,000 and $1 million, according to the New York Daily News.
The auction is scheduled for Dec. 20. (abc news)